World News
Q: Do you keep up with the important world news?
A: Of course! I assume you are referring to the... interesting... situation in Rwanda.
Q: Rwanda? No! I meant Iraq!
A: Shush. I don't care. Did you know that Russia just pledged it's support to Rwanda? Russia's feeling proud, taking after the United States in "contributing to the reconstruction of Rwanda through the provision of technical assistance particularly in the education and transport sector." I think that's interesting, since they refused to help divert the genocide of 1994.
Q: Genocide?
A: Oh, nothing much. Just a matter of over a million deaths. Actually, to their credit, it was French forces that quelled the genocide. Although naturally, they got confused about what was going on and killed many of their Tutsi allies.
Q: [Laughs]
A: And what have you to laugh about? Russia, Japan, the UN, and even Canada have pitched into the relief efforts. What has America done? Signed a trade agreement. Clinton got his ass handed to him in Somalia. He was worried about bin Laden's/Al-Qaeda's presence. I wonder why? Now Bush is saying that he's concerned about it. He's payed warlords to help him track an Al-Qaeda sect who he believes moves freely between Somalia, Kenya, Ethiopia and parts of the Middle East. He's sent in Counter-Terror units, who accused Islam of harboring terrorists. They have been defeated by militia in Mogadishu, the capital. Now, despite Bush's stubborn belief that terrorists are still there, there is no fighting in Mogadishu and the West has no more means of contact with the country. Oops.
Q: Why haven't I ever heard any of this?
A: No one likes to talk about anything that's not Iraq or Afghanistan or Pakistan. I can't even find any of this stuff on Google news unless I look specifically for it.
Q: How do you know to look for it if you don't even know it exists?
A: Good question, mothball. You just have to read carefully. Go pick up a newspaper. Open to the third-from-last page in the first section. Find something you've never heard of before. Look it up. That'll take you from one thing to another, and pretty soon, you've gone from Rwanda's genocide in 1994 to Bush's Counter-Terror units in Somalia. Where it really gets interesting is when you read how Council of Europe has leveled accusations against the CIA in this document and 14 European countries, saying that they have participated in transporting teror suspects to third world countries known to use torture and setting up secret CIA prisons in Poland and Romania, which utilized the harshest interrogation techniques.
Q: But that's ridiculous!
A: Of course it is, but it brings up some interesting tangents. Did you know that Norway is ditching the LTTE?
Q: LTTE?
A: Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam. It's a military and political organization that promotes independence for the Tamil people of Sri Lanka.
Q: Sri Lanka?
A: Oh, it's some dinky island country off of India. Apparently, LTTE has been fighting on and off for years in the name of "peace." They've been funded by the Scandahoovians, who've gotten a bit tired of the LTTE's absurd blackmailings and bizzare actions. "Let the LTTE go to hell," said V Anandasangaree.
Now, while this has been a fun exercise, it is time for dinner. If you will excuse me...
[This has been an actual Q&A session with Norbert and an anonymous persun, transcribed by the Blog Editor]
A: Of course! I assume you are referring to the... interesting... situation in Rwanda.
Q: Rwanda? No! I meant Iraq!
A: Shush. I don't care. Did you know that Russia just pledged it's support to Rwanda? Russia's feeling proud, taking after the United States in "contributing to the reconstruction of Rwanda through the provision of technical assistance particularly in the education and transport sector." I think that's interesting, since they refused to help divert the genocide of 1994.
Q: Genocide?
A: Oh, nothing much. Just a matter of over a million deaths. Actually, to their credit, it was French forces that quelled the genocide. Although naturally, they got confused about what was going on and killed many of their Tutsi allies.
Q: [Laughs]
A: And what have you to laugh about? Russia, Japan, the UN, and even Canada have pitched into the relief efforts. What has America done? Signed a trade agreement. Clinton got his ass handed to him in Somalia. He was worried about bin Laden's/Al-Qaeda's presence. I wonder why? Now Bush is saying that he's concerned about it. He's payed warlords to help him track an Al-Qaeda sect who he believes moves freely between Somalia, Kenya, Ethiopia and parts of the Middle East. He's sent in Counter-Terror units, who accused Islam of harboring terrorists. They have been defeated by militia in Mogadishu, the capital. Now, despite Bush's stubborn belief that terrorists are still there, there is no fighting in Mogadishu and the West has no more means of contact with the country. Oops.
Q: Why haven't I ever heard any of this?
A: No one likes to talk about anything that's not Iraq or Afghanistan or Pakistan. I can't even find any of this stuff on Google news unless I look specifically for it.
Q: How do you know to look for it if you don't even know it exists?
A: Good question, mothball. You just have to read carefully. Go pick up a newspaper. Open to the third-from-last page in the first section. Find something you've never heard of before. Look it up. That'll take you from one thing to another, and pretty soon, you've gone from Rwanda's genocide in 1994 to Bush's Counter-Terror units in Somalia. Where it really gets interesting is when you read how Council of Europe has leveled accusations against the CIA in this document and 14 European countries, saying that they have participated in transporting teror suspects to third world countries known to use torture and setting up secret CIA prisons in Poland and Romania, which utilized the harshest interrogation techniques.
Q: But that's ridiculous!
A: Of course it is, but it brings up some interesting tangents. Did you know that Norway is ditching the LTTE?
Q: LTTE?
A: Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam. It's a military and political organization that promotes independence for the Tamil people of Sri Lanka.
Q: Sri Lanka?
A: Oh, it's some dinky island country off of India. Apparently, LTTE has been fighting on and off for years in the name of "peace." They've been funded by the Scandahoovians, who've gotten a bit tired of the LTTE's absurd blackmailings and bizzare actions. "Let the LTTE go to hell," said V Anandasangaree.
Now, while this has been a fun exercise, it is time for dinner. If you will excuse me...
[This has been an actual Q&A session with Norbert and an anonymous persun, transcribed by the Blog Editor]
posted by Norbert | 3:27 PM
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